I am touched – says Maradona
Diego Maradona, the Argentine superstar, landed in Kolkata earlier this week to a resounding welcome when 12 million fans turned up to greet him at the Dum Dum international airport. “It was beautiful,” said an overwhelmed Diego, “I didn’t know someone still loved me.”
Kolkata is justifiably proud of its long football heritage – from Pele to Maradona to Ronaldo, Kolkata has produced a long list of football megastar fan clubs. Kolkata has also laid claim to no less than 7 world titles as Brazil and Argentina. Their case is still pending.
Yet, the reception for Maradona was unprecedented even by Kolkata’s standards. Kolkata Metro had to run an extra 1000 services on the day, for which a whole new track was sanctioned in record time by the Sports Minister, Subhas Chakraborty. “We follow the Chinese Model,” he said, “when something needs getting done, it gets done.” Offices remained closed as a large number of people threw in sickies, except there were no doctors on duty either.
The scene at the airport was one of mayhem, with people bribing their way through the token collection office, and some VIPs jumping ahead with special “VIP darshan” tickets. Kolkata police was well prepared for crowd control with adequate supplies of lathis, tear gas and helmets, except there were no cops in sight. Tundla Junction has been told this was because an unexpectedly large number of policemen threw in sickies at the last minute, too. “It must be the December fish,” reported inside sources.
Maradona was clearly caught unaware, and is reported to have thought he was landing in a colony of emperor penguins as he saw the teeming masses congregate below as his aircraft gently eased into the eastern metropolis. “They were absolutely incredible,” he said afterwards, “someone even offered me his life’s pensions as he felt there was nothing more left for him to accomplish. Obviously I am touched.”
Meanwhile local authorities reported a 2 meter dip in Dum Dum’s altitude under the sheer mass of Maradona fans, but said “tectonic forces happen once in a million years. He is a once in a million years star. We understand.”