Tundla Junction

The Congress Party is in complete disarray. Sheila Dikshit is now the longest serving woman Chief Minister. She may now actually be poised to come within two-minute-recall distance of Her Royal Highness Great Great Great Great Sonia Gandhiji (HRHGGGGSG) in the minds of Congress party members.

Such a drastic, nay seismic, shift in the crania of Congress party members has been programmed to take place only once in a Nehru-family-generation-change time. Congress party members have pleaded with HRHGGGGSG that they are feeling dizzy and disoriented, utterly unable to go about their daily tasks of performing the daily chores of HRHGGGGSG’s seva. While previously Congress party members would challenge each other to duels for extremely important chores such as cleaning her seating place, washing her clothes, laying out carpets for her golden feet to trod on (when not offering their backs as a continuous floor – the highest form of service that can only be performed in private) etc, they are now showing a strange lassitude in going about their daily routines. HRHGGGGSG is rumored to have been extremely displeased with the results, and the last straw on the camel’s back was when His Royal Highness Great Great Great Rahul Gandhiji’s (HRHGGGRG) spectacles were found with speckles of dust on them.

Prime Minister Manmohan Singh whose cranium is rumored to have only undergone partial alteration unlike other Congress party members, managed the superhuman feat of summoning his miniscule non-altered mental reserves to plead with Madam HRHGGGGSG to take pity on the poor Congress party members and save them from certain self-immolation.

The crux of the problem seems to lie in the fact that suddenly Sheila Dikshit’s personality is acquiring a separate form and outline from that of HRHGGGGSG’s omnipotent effulgent self. While HRHGGGGSG has always generously created avatars for standing in various elections, all successes and actions leading to such successes can only be attributed to Her according to the Nehru-Shastra. Sheila Dikshit herself is extremely uncomfortable with the manifestation of this physical psychic self of hers and has complained of the constant out-of-body experience (OBE) interfering with her digestive system.

HRHGGGGSG is working with Bofors to develop a new Brahmastra to completely erase the memories of all Congress party members of Sheila Dikshit’s earlier tenures. As a result, Sheila Dikshit will become only another ordinary first-time Chief Minister or a manifestation of HRHGGGGSG’s bounty in the minds of Congress workers.

HRHGGGGSG’s generosity and grace in promptly heeding to the concerns of her citizenry and ensuring that their minds are unruffled is truly unparalleled. Her extraordinary willingness to save the Congress party and keep it from self-destructing at least until her divine offspring are ready to rule over the simple folks in similar benevolence is unheard of in today’s Kali Yuga.