Tundla Junction

As the world celebrated the sixtieth anniversary of the Universal Declaration of Human Rights, it is easy to forget the deep and long-lasting changes brought about by the world’s most powerful document. In the sixty years since the Declaration has come into force, the world has not seen a single war or even a small conflict and has completely wiped out poverty, malnutrition, torture and those other bugbears that haunted humankind at the start of the last century.

With the amazing power of the Declaration finally being acknowledged the world over, the United Nations will be disbanding, according to UN Secretary General Ban Ki-moon. A UN spokesperson for the Secretary General’s office, Michele Montas, said that the decision was taken after much thought and in response to the constant complaints that the UN’s presence is not required in a world that is so peaceful and loving. He elaborated “We have received a steady stream of complaints on how UN personnel are merely flying from one conference to another debating the niceties of a completely peaceful world. We were remaining in existence for so long to ensure that the Universal Declaration would have a chance to be fully enforced. But, we’re now convinced that our presence is not required…..I don’t even know where to find a picture of a refugee! We had to dig deep into our archives to find one for this historic celebration”. John Bolton celebrated the announcement with a special dinner party — Mary Robinson was the guest of honor.

The Declaration has been completely successful in ensuring rights for every human being on this planet. Giving an example from some of the tense geo-politic situations he encountered during his time as US Secretary of State, Henry Kissinger said “The power of the Universal Declaration of Human Rights is simply magical. We merely had to whisper it and heads of warring states would instantly and automatically settle down in their seats and peacefully negotiate. At most, a stern raised eyebrow from the Secretary General would be sufficient to put a bumptious dictator in his place”.

Asked to imagine a world in which the Declaration was perhaps not so successful, Kissinger said “Well, I don’t even know what that would look like. I mean, we would probably be splitting hairs on the definition of something as simple and straightforward as Article 5 ‘No one shall be subjected to torture or to cruel, inhuman or degrading treatment or punishment’. Imagine that!”

The Declaration’s power is unique, in that, the UN has not even had to use its military to enforce it. It is a singular achievement that turned the page on millennia of brutal wars among mankind for petty reasons such as resources and religion.

Hallelujah!