Tundla Junction

A shrine is being constructed for the Abdullah family in Kashmir. Our sources on the ground say that irrefutable proof has been found of the divine nature of the Abdullah family which has allowed them, nay forced them, to be the rulers of Kashmir for decades. Kashmiris all around have proclaimed that the continuous line of succession in the Abdullah family that has ruled over Kashmir is incontrovertible proof of the divinity of the Abdullah family. “If Farooq Abdullah, former Chief Minister of Jammu and Kashmir and the son of Sheikh Abdullah (also former Chief Minister), has said that his son should be the next Chief Minister, it means God has spoken through him. Else, Farooq Abdullah would not have said so”, said a National Conference party official, displaying startlingly brilliant insight into divine logic.

The divine logic inherent in the line of succession of the Abdullah family came to light as India’s first family – the Gandhis (with heir-apparent Rahul baba) – discussed with Farooq Abdullah and his family, the hoary secret details of the heavenly succession plan that has forced them to take on the onerous task of ruling over the Congress party and India in general over the many decades.

Sonia Gandhi is said to have detailed the different signs that she noticed in Rahul baba right from his childhood – starting from the numerological significance of his name – which convinced her that he was indeed the Messiah of the Congress party and India as well. The details struck Farooq Abdullah like a bolt of lightning as he suddenly remembered various signs as Omar was growing up – including the anthropometric anomaly that is his widow’s peak – that has singled him out from the rest of his peers.

So as not to disturb the minds of the common citizenry, Farooq Abdullah did not publicly disclose the many signs that led him to be convinced that Omar should indeed be the next Chief Minister of Jammu and Kashmir, but instead just made a tame statement, “Omar is a young man ready to serve the people.” (source PTI).

In an extremely unusual move then that completely flies in the face of universal parent/family-child relations, Omar Abdullah’s bid for the Chief Minister-ship is actually being backed by his family, notably his father Farooq Abdullah and his brother-in-law Sachin Pilot. “I was really stunned to receive my family’s support”, a visibly surprised Omar Abdullah disclosed yesterday. “I mean, my father and brother-in-law believe that I could be the Chief Minister? Wow! I wouldn’t have ever dreamed of it”, he continued.

As we go to press, both Farooq and Omar Abdullah have headed to the Gandhi residence to obtain their blessings for the crowning of the new Messiah as the incredible power of divine succession continues to guide India’s political destiny.