Oprah comes to India
After the latest debacle following the near-publication of a “memoir” (an inability to pinpoint the word’s meaning is supposedly the reason for the end of the Oxford English dictionary’s print edition) based on the life story of a guest on Oprah Winfrey’s show, we have been told that Oprah is looking to change the process by which she showcases folks coming to her with a true-life story.
Impressed by the deep spiritual awakening all around (as seen through the burgeoning number of yoga classes that seem to have infected the US with a collective ‘downward dog’ [Adho Mukha Svanasana to the uninitiated] syndrome), Oprah has decided that she will come to India – the land that follows the motto ‘Satyameva Jayate’ or ‘Truth Alone Triumphs’ (Thanks Wikipedia) – to learn the ways in which truth can be distinguished from lies.
We have learnt that as a first step, Oprah is consulting with Sri Sri Ravi Shankar on the origins of the concept of truth – how ancient Hindu scriptures say that there is no objective reality or truth and all is subjective. “Look at my life, Oprah….Is Davos real? Was my meeting with Bill Clinton at the Telugu Association of North America (TANA) real? I mean poor Bill Clinton hasn’t even figured out if a blow-job constituted the truth of sexual relations.
Is it true that Sudarshan Kriya will change your life? If you think it will, well it will. Just as if you think Oprah Winfrey’s book club selections can change your life, they will. It’s all Maya. In truth, I am only a simple man from Tamilnadu. You must understand what Patanjali says – truth, lies, sadness, happiness etc are all in the mind. Let it go. Let go of this American insistence on truth”, Sri Sri Ravi Shankar is reported to have advised Winfrey.
His words seem to have left a deep impression on her. She is now considering various prominent Indian politicians as guests on her show which hopefully might get them a book deal or two on a “memoir” to follow. From Kashmir to Uttar Pradesh to Maharashtra to Tamilnadu, Oprah’s aides have gotten her a wide cross-section of potential memoirists.
To whittle down the wide field of choice available to her, Oprah is considering a series of tests to eliminate contenders:
a) Anyone who has spent less than a decade in politics (memoirs like wine are supposed to get better with age) unless of course, your last name is Gandhi
b) Anything that seems too implausible by the standards of Karan Johar and David Dhawan
c) And finally, in line with the redefined truthful spirit of the memoir, anyone who has actually worked in the absence of photo opportunities and the media spotlight will not be counted.
Photo courtesy of www.oprah.com
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