Kolkata Bans 6 Autos, Saves Environment
Following the example set by other metros, Kolkata finally banned 6 autos from its streets in an attempt to save the Earth. These 6 autos had been producing more than 90% of all the emissions in Kolkata (excluding Mamata Banerjee), causing an estimated increase of 4.5 degrees in global temperature. The ban has had an immediate effect, sparking off a severe cold wave in North India, and grounding all manner of transport in the region except autos.
Kolkata today plies 70,000 autos (including 40,000 which are officially registered) that use the squeaky-clean 2-stroke engine technology. “By banning these six autos, the government has effectively got rid of a single 12 stroke engine with dramatic consequences for national and international well-being” said experts.
Political parties, however, have united against this to form the Auto United Front and the Auto Bachao Committee. “We do not want to stop global warming,” said Sovandeb Chattopadhyay, a Trinamul Congress MLA and leader of Auto Bachao Committee. “Look around you – didn’t you prefer the balmy weather of last week?” he said, as he shivered in his hastily purchased overcoat, battling the sudden snowfall.
Trinamool Party workers meanwhile took their protest to CM Buddhadeb Bhattacharjee’s doorstep late on Friday and unleashed a fresh attack on the CPM ahead of the Parliament Polls. “This is really the last straw, surely we’ll win more seats next time,” said an optimistic Mamata Banerjee. “To really drive the point home, we have called a 12 hour auto and taxi strike on Saturday, the day all Kolkatan’s are truly desperate to reach office.”
To counter the sudden chill, mobs flaunting Trinamool flags earlier set fire to a bus on Hazra Road and wrecked a brand new state bus at Rashbehari Avenue. Rumours abound that a third bus has been set on fire in North Kolkata as well. “We deserve some warmth, too,” said a Shyambazaar resident.
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