No, we were not smoking pot: Rashtrapati Bhavan
Rashtrapati Bhavan has denied allegations that the Padma Shri national honours list was prepared under the influence of class A drugs. “No, we were not hallucinating – Hashmatullah Khan really does exist,” said an official at the President’s Secretariat.
The nomination of the said gentleman has sparked off a row with critics accusing the President’s Secretariat and the Home Minisitry of “creating humans out of thin air”. An alternative school of thought hints at the goverment’s gullibility for having fallen prey to a simple prank by Balram the office boy, who decided to try his typing skills upon spotting an unattended typewriter.
Denying all allegations, the official said “we follow a very rigorous procedure to decide the final awardees. Our resident pandit provides us the first letter of the name and then we go through all the telephone directories in the country. The nominees are then analysed by our numerologist who then selects the final awardees. It is a very fair and transparent process.”
Critics are not convinced the process works. “They seem to have missed a crucial step,” says an expert, “that of verifying if the person actually exists. Next they may just award the Padma Shri to Umrao Jaan and Masakalli.”
“In addition, they need to clarify what certain categories mean. For instance, in Hashmatullah Khan’s case, their claim that a business in selling shawls is an art form just does not hold water. Admittedly business can be an art form, as in Ramalingam Raju’s case, but then it makes you wonder why more deserving candidates weren’t chosen for the award.”
Officials have also denied gullibility charges, saying “we don’t even use typewriters here anymore. We were recently sold a set of laptops for $10 each by a very kind man. All typewriters in the office have now been replaced by these state of the art machines. Besides, Balram is a very thoughtful person himself – he once pursuaded me to purchase the Lakshaya Prapti Pendant – how can anyone accuse such a man of mischief?”
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