Hot Woman on Woman Action in UP
The action in Uttar Pradesh just got hotter when goons of an unknown lineage set Rita Bahuguna Joshi’s house on fire. “It was a fantastic show”, said a satisfied viewer, “you could say it was the coolest fire ever.”
A first-of-its-kind event, the bout started with a ritual swearing-on ceremony, with Rita promising to play fair but hard, and calling Mayawati an ugly @#$*. Mayawati joined in on the all-female bonding session by calling Rita a $@#*ing @$*#. This set off an ugly chain of events as planned, culminating in a very mature display of violent mud-slinging.
“The conditions were perfect,” remarked commentator Anupam Gulati. “The pitch was moist and had been re-inforced with gangetic clay. With thunder storms predicted for much of the afternoon, we knew we were set for a smashing round of blows. And the women did not disappoint.”
“I was particularly impressed with Maya’s backhand returns,” said Maneka Gandhi. “Though Rita’s aggression helped her dominate the early part of the match. Offence is the best defence, as they say.”
Befitting an event of this scale, the match ended with both players tied on love-all and had to be resolved in Rita’s bedroom. Goons of an unknown lineage were organised by unknown people to set Rita’s bedroom on fire, which quickly spread to the rest of the apartment. Fire-marshals of an unknown lineage were organised thereafter, and the challenge placed before them was to douse the fire with a hose pipe and a bottle of Bisleri water.
VLCC Candidate?
Meanwhile Rita’s supporters have refused to accepted the verdict. “Everyone knows only human refuse can douse a fire better than a bottle of Bisleri. So we have decided to do the needful and take matters in our own hands. Once through, we will accept the verdict,” said a Rita supporter.
Meanwhile this has been branded tasteless by opponents of women wrestling. “It may have been fun if the wrestlers had better figures. But what does Mayawati eat that makes her that shape, I ask you?” said Mulayam Singh.