Laloo Opposes Women’s Bill
“Rabri has no earnings. How do they expect her to pay the bill?”.
Laloo, keen exponent of medieval chivalry and self-confessed fan of the notable knights Godfrey of Bouillon, William Marshall and Bertrand du Guesclin yesterday stormed out of the court of Her Highness, Rani Meira Kumar, “in protest against a debate most unsavoury”. His contention: make men pay the bill at all times, do not burden womenfolk with the onerous task of funding dinner. In fact, ban the phrase Women’s Bill entirely.
“I oppose this suggested imposition whole-heartedly,” he said. “Women play a crucial role in our society, and we need to respect that. Let us not distract them of their prime duties by asking them to do what, in all honestly, should be the man’s duty. Besides, if we men are stripped off our only non-sperm related contribution (I confess, I am wholly incapable of bearing children, or rearing them, or teaching them Math), do we not run the risk of rendering ourselves redundant? I fear of a future society dominated by women selectively rearing young nubile men (or worse, nubile sperms in a test-tube) for their own benefit.”
Laloo isn’t the only one opposing the bill, though. Earlier Mulayam extended his support to Laloo for entirely different reasons. In an official statement, he said “Women’s bill? Are you out of your mind? I have never paid for women and will never do so. That would be very demeaning for them, no? All my women are volunteers – even the ones I pick up from outside Lucknow station.”
Renuka Chaudhury has also joined hands with Laloo in protest – “What do you mean Women’s Bill? Women do not have bills, unlike ducks and platypuses. This is just another attempt by a male dominated society to justify the use of degrading terms like bird and hot chick. We will not be compared to Tandoori Chicken.”
Meanwhile VHP president Ashok Singhal is reported to be in strong disagreement with the Laloo contingent. “Women’s Bill? of course Bill Clinton belongs to women. We do not support homo-sexuality in any form, and will not stand for anyone trying to suggest a Man’s Bill. Billi yes, Bill no.” This line of argument has earned the VHP president unlikely friends in the Bible belt, though they have clarified that the term “friends” in this context should be construed to imply a purely platonic relationship.